Looking to Jetset? An abridged guide to holiday trips on the east coast

First off, I would like to say “Thanks” to Benji for bringing me aboard. I hope to offer something different, yet complementary; something fun, yet informative. I will strive to become the Simon to his Garfunkel, the Cher to his Sonny, the Big Boi to his Andre. While I don’t want to become the Jessica to his Nick, it is ultimately in the hands of the readers; the faithful proletariat who remind me I am not just doing this for the money.

1.) Gram Parsons: “Streets of Baltimore”

Okay, so maybe Baltimore isn’t as glamorous as Gram’s “woman” makes it out to be. But, it’s certainly a change from the Tennessee farm life that she was used to. “She said the prettiest place on earth was Baltimore at night.” Unfortunately, she felt it was even prettier than her Gram, as he ends up buying a one-way ticket home—perhaps to write the somber, “Love Hurts.” Maybe Baltimore is not the best choice for a holiday getaway, especially if traveling with a significant other.

2.) The Walkmen: “Lost in Boston”

So we travel farther north only to get, you guessed it, lost! This was always one of my favorite tunes on “A Hundred Miles Off,” despite most critics dismissing it as trite. It’s simple and catchy: “Lost in Boston/drinking rum and chocolate/a hundred thousand blinking lights/are making me exhausted.” So bring a map, get some rest, and live it up.

3.) Ryan Adams: “New York, New York”

Adams is a must on a list like this: he’s told us how he misses Kentucky, how Tennessee sucks, and we all know he has a soft spot for the Carolinas. But this upbeat tune, that made him ‘gold’ in the critics’ eyes, is perfect for the holidays:

I remember Christmas in the blistering cold
In a church on the upper west side
Babe, I stood their singing, I was holding your arm
You were holding my trust like a child

It starts with a light bongo groove and ends with a sweet saxophone solo, plus Adams actually sounds like he has his life together…but where’s the fun in that?

4.) Albert Hammond Jr: “Hard to Live (in the city)”

Geez, Albert, why didn’t you tell us this THREE SONGS AGO?! “To all those questions I have no answers.” Oh, okay. Our city reviews have not been the most objective: all have been bitter men with loss fresh their minds. So let’s get out of the city and get a woman’s perspective.

5.) Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong: “Moonlight in Vermont” (written by John Blackburn & Karl Suessdorf)

Pennies in a stream
Falling leaves, a sycamore
Moonlight in Vermont

…People who meet in this romantic setting
Are so hypnotized by the lovely...

Ahh, this is the place! Benji, I actually want to become the Louis to your Ella because, damn, they are good together.